P-r-e-t-e-n-t-i-o-u-s

P-r-e-t-e-n-t-i-o-u-s

The mellow, smooth, and savory aromas of chicory and Sumatran coffee give way to a succulent blend of licorice and nutty earth tastes that remind one of a stroll in a pristine forest.  The first 1/4 of this cigar was pleasant...good draw, even burn, voluminous amounts of smoke, subtle flavors lingering on the palate for a sufficient time after the smoke left my mouth.  The last 3/4 of this cigar, attesting to the complexity of the blending of the filler, binder, and wrapper tobaccos, changed dramatically, like the rising and falling of orchestral overtones...pleasing, and causing me to want more.

ARGHHHH!!!!

Have you EVER......EVER had to hold your breath, waiting for someone to finish a description such as that? I have.  I read a lot of cigar reviews, and very often the reviewer, (taster?  smoker?) will rattle off a string of adjectives like that, in an attempt to connect my graphic memory with his/her smoking experience. 

Have you EVER.....EVER described ANYTHING like that?  Anything, that is, short of an orgasmic experience that borders on the hallucinogenic?

Peppery, spicy, oily, earthy, nutty, leathery, fruity, musky....those are all words I often hear and read as they're used to describe a cigar smoking experience.  Used one at a time, they are adequate descriptors.  Used in a chain, they make me think, "Are you KIDDING ME?"

I'll say it again.  ARGHHHHH!!!!!

What's wrong with "mild, medium, strong, sweet, smooth, bitter, harsh?" Those are words the common cigar smoker can relate to.  And since almost any two of them, used together, are self-cancelling, they do just fine all by themselves....one at a time....to describe a cigar.

I guess cigars are like any other hobby.  Those who are "into" that particular hobby sometimes find it necessary to impress on others their astounding knowledge...whether the others wish to be impressed or not.

I once had the displeasure of listening to someone drone on about the "three match method" of lighting a cigar.  Granted, extremely expensive, high-end cigars seem to demand a wee bit more attention and appreciation, but this fellow went on, at length, about using three LONG, wooden cigar matches to heat, toast, and finally ignite your cigar.  Too much.  Even good cigars need just one thing....fire.

Let's light 'em up, get to smokin' and quit wastin' time tryin' to describe 'em.